Friday, September 7, 2007

Homicide with rainbow sprinkles

Let’s be honest, if you’re dumb enough to rob an ice cream store, you probably deserve something bad. You may not deserve to die; that was the fate of the robber who got blasted by a South Side Baskin-Robbins manager while sticking up the popsicle stand on Thursday. But you should at least be forced to watch the Blue Collar Comedy Tour on a 10-hour loop with your eyelids pried open a la “A Clockwork Orange.”

As reported by the Richmond Times-Dispatch, this was actually the second time the store was robbed. How much does the typical soft serve ice cream cone cost? $2? $3? Was there no nearby Dollar Store to rob, no panhandler to shakedown? It makes as much sense as doing a couple of home invasions in Amish country, and taking the cattle prod and butter churn to the pawn shop.

Thinking about it just gives me brain freeze.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

That lucky bastard (the store owner that is). I have been a gun owner since the 4th grade and I am still waiting for the chance to shoot someone...legally.
Some consider armed robbery a awful crime that bogs down our legal system. I like to call it an opportunity to ease the system of one more mouth to feed.
I wonder if that B-R is hiring?

Anonymous said...

Eye for an eye! Rob a store with a BB gun and die at the hands of a real semi-automatic pistol. Now that is justice!

Anonymous said...

And now an icecream truck driver has been shot. Hmm... is this the modus operandi of a new gang in town with a sweet tooth and a penchant for violence? I wonder do they take a sugar cone, regular cone or cup? I shouldn't joke.