Friday, March 7, 2008

Last posting and new blog announcement

This blog has been empty the past few months as I've shifted my lax efforts over to popcorntrickery.com. Thanks for reading, and as Winnie Cooper wrote in Kevin Arnold's yearbook, "Have a neat summer."

Here's a sample of the crap living over there at popcorntrickery.com:

"...while updating my MySpace profile the other day and “tweaking” my date of birth so I wouldn’t freak out any of the 14-year-old girls I was chatting with (That’s a direct challenge, Chris Hanson), I stumbled upon a funny Match.com streaming video banner ad.

The ad encourages you to find someone who makes bedtime fun! Apparently this is done by sharing toothpaste and flirting in front of the medicine cabinet. Why can’t we get an honest ad?

Maybe have the chick dress up as the captain from “20,000 Leagues Under the Sea” and the dude dress up as Wes Snipes from “Too Wong Foo?” Maybe have inanimate object role playing where one person is an ashtray and the other is a toilet? Or why not just cast a one-person snuff film right there in the bathroom.

Yes, 'bedtime' can be fun. But dental hygiene sucks."

See more at popcorntrickery.com

Friday, January 11, 2008

R.I.P.: Hooterz Lite

I remember a few years back when I first stepped into the West End Bailey’s, a sports bar chain that was the product of urban sprawl and the Hooters down the road only having so many server positions.

The wings were over-priced, the mid-rifts were bare and the beer was cold.

It was always packed back then. All the guys looked like Kia dealership salesmen and all the girls looked like they needed someone to help them pay their rent. It was perfect. And I think it lasted like this for a while.

Last night I returned to Bailey’s for the first time in years. It was Thursday during happy hour and there was nary a patron besides my friends and I, who only stopped there because it was conveniently located between our places of work. And it was sad– without even the crack of a pool cue to break the silence. (I say silent, but Baileys does blast really bad castaway music videos from super groups like the “A-teens.”) It was kind of like seeing that old high school flame that you still had fleeting, drunken’ moments of ribald lust for, only she was working at a car wash and living right above the car wash.

Rest in peace, Baileys. I no doubt you’ll close soon, only to be replaced by a Christian Science Reading Room or battery store. And I hope your lovely ladies find their way down to BW3 or the new and improved Richard’s Restaurant and Gentleman’s Club.